Saturated Fat

-skinny-love-:

I want to follow you all!! 

(via southernslimdown)

• My Legs: Hey, Amy?
• Me: Yeah
• My Legs: Fuck. You.
• Me: ......sorry.

I would lose so much weight if I lived in NYC.

So. Much. Walking.

Okay, quick post today in the midst of the insanity that my life has become.

*ANNOUNCEMENT!* Weigh-in is, in fact, moving to Wednesdays. I can’t deal with Mondays. AND Wednesdays won’t let me put all the blame on the weekend. 

So, weigh-in: 322.

Again.

Obviously something isn’t working. I am doing a lot of things that are healthier as of late, like eating on a regular schedule, actually drinking milk, thinking (most of the time) about WHY I feel hungry or want to eat.

So all that is very good. And all of it is stuff I’ve never really learned to do before.

But I still want to lose this weight. So the uphill battle continues.

IN OTHER NEWS 

I’m heading to New York City tomorrow! I’ll try to check in at least once while I’m there.

Love you guys! Thanks for all your support!

• Followers: Hey Amy, where's your weigh-in post for today?
• Me: Um.... my cat ate it?
• Followers: Amy.
• Me: Okay okay, I may have possibly somehow accidentally forgotten to weigh in this morning.
• Followers: *roll eyes*
• Me: I know, I know. FAIL.
• Followers: Epic FAIL.
• Me: *shame face* I love you guys though. You guys still love me right?
• Followers:
• Me: RIGHT?!
• Followers: ...... We'll see. You're on probation.
• Me: Damn.

So, one Halloween festivity down, one to go.

Party last night and I *gasp* did not pig-out on snacks!

I was very proud of myself - one light beer, a handful of peanuts, and two cookies (and believe me, they were the kind of cookies its hard to stay away from - pumpkin chocolate chip).

Tonight is Rocky Horror (pictures will follow I promise). There won’t be snacks but there WILL be a cash bar. And I may be in the mood for some drunken debauchery. Drinks are very dangerous diet-wise for me, because I simply forget that they can be full of sugar and calories. So I will try to stay away from things that are too foofy and stick to things that involve orange juice or diet soda.

Wish me luck!

• Question: Honestly, I love your blog and I think you would make an amazing friend. Honestly though, what is it like being 300 lbs? I really don't want it to seem like I am being judgmental, I am just wondering. I really do enjoy your blog, and you WILL lose weight, pass grad school, and stay sane. I promise. :) - Anonymous
• Answer:

  You don’t seem judgmental at all, I promise. And its an interesting question.

  Its hard to answer something like that. Most of the time I’m just me, and I don’t really think about what is different about being me.

  The big things (haha, big things, unintended pun! - okay I’ll stop) are things everyone takes for granted. And now that I’m thinking about them, they are sort of hard to talk about.

  Things like not fitting comfortably into desks or theatre seats, or having to be walked out of an amusement park ride in front of a few friends and even more strangers because the restraint bar won’t lock.

  I also have to watch most of my friends shop rather than taking part because I can’t buy clothes where they do.

  I can’t wear cute rain or snow boots because, when you add that my shortness means my calf starts where most people’s ankles are, even wide-calf boots don’t accommodate. (This one has had me in tears before, after not being able to accept a pair of adorable rain boots for Christmas even though my mom spent weeks finding a pair she thought would fit me and even consulted my friends on which style to pick.)

  Its hard to say if any of that really conveys what it is “like” to weigh this much. But more than anything I’m glad to be asked. 

  Most people just don’t consider what it means to people who actually experience it. Maybe if they did we could all feel a little better.

  Thank you again. Really really.

• Question: How much weight do you want to lose? What is your goal for yourself? - Anonymous
• Answer:

  I really try not to get overly focused on specific weight goals. I have a habit of getting ahead of myself and then getting disappointed when I do that. So currently I’ve got my eyes on dropping below 300 lbs again.

  I suppose if I were to think about a bottom line goal - a place where I could stop and be comfortable - it would probably be around 150 lbs. That might seem a little high to some people, but I’ve always been overweight, and can barely imagine that weight.

  Thanks for asking!

First of all, I want to say hello to all my new followers! And all my not so new followers! I started this blog out as mostly a self-motivation thing. I figured maybe four or five people would follow me and think I was funny and I would have a place to be more open about my weight issues.

I can’t thank all of you enough for the support even a simple follow gives me.

(These two little guys are really grateful for your support too. Even though they are skinny bitches.)

But now on to the less chipper part of this post.

I am back up to 322 lbs. as of this morning. 

Not to make excuses, but I blame my uterus. It couldn’t have waited until after weigh-in to start this months hormone crap fest? 

Oh well. On to next week, right my friends? 

Life-lasting weight loss is a long long road, and I’m just getting started.